Whether we are married or single, one of the most difficult attacks comes with bitterness towards someone else. Married couples experience this frequently–and if not handled it will eventually spell disaster, just like it does in the church.
When we expect something from another human, we are going to be disappointed. When our dependence is on people instead of God, we become angry when they don’t do what we want. It is about what WE want. When we trust the Lord, we can rest and be at peace, because He is then in control.
When my husband and I were married, we didn’t have enough money to buy a wedding ring, so I made one out of old gold and an old diamond from my mother’s ring. Because the gold was very old and brittle, it broke within the first year. Now, of course it was disappointing. But it wasn’t a place where bitterness should grow! And so I placed my trust in the Lord to provide a ring someday at His convenience. If I had focused on my loss, it would have placed an unfair strain in our home. One of my favorite statements came from a former pastor: “Ask yourself–is it a big enough hill to die on?” My lack of a ring was definitely not big enough. For me to have thought so would have brought condemnation and embarrassment to our home!
We should not be easily offended or hurt (1 Corinthians 13). We should be able to tell the difference between something worthy of discussion and something that will tear apart a relationship. Bitterness always tears things apart and speaks of our control and selfish desire more than our concern for the hearts of others. It’s about God, not about us. It’s about love. Let’s celebrate love, let’s walk forward without the baggage of bitterness!